Me Funny Status Messages

   Conversations that start with "Don't get mad" seldom end that way.

   Long Island ice tea proves that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

   Studies show that California has the highest rate of Adultery and Depression....It's a sad State of affairs.

   My best friend in Florida won the power 540 million power ball....Okay, I haven't actually met him yet but I am sure we will be the best friends forever.

   Im using internet explorer so I hope this isnt too late. Happy new year 2009

   Bad things happen when you try to multitask with a single task brain.

   Gorilla Lives Matter

   Probably the worst thing to hear when wearing that new bikini is, "Good for you".

   After this pandemic is over, I don't want to see any more memes claiming that you could live in a cabin alone for a full year for a million dollars. You literally couldn't stay in your house for 5 days to save your grandmother, soooo......

   How am I suppose to know that you're happy and you know it if you don't clap your hands?