MWC Funny Status Messages

   "Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan has to ride seven miles a day with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of two dollars and we will send you the video its hilarious."

   looking to trade a 9x13 Tupperware bowl for a 13x9 Tupperware bowl. The 9x13 is just to long to fit in my Microwave Oven.

   I've learned so much from my mistakes...I'm gonna make a few more.

   30 years ago my wife got a tattoo of a horse head on her boob, it now looks like a giraffe

   One of the biggest lies ever told; The Doctor will be with you in a couple of Minutes.

   They say you are what you eat...so I'm gonna eat a skinny person

   "I'M NOT RACIST, I DON'T LIKE BIDEN EITHER!!!"

   My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel....

   Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I've only missed one day

   I ask a friend why he left his girlfriend. He said "I'm gay, plus in the end is the way I like it."

   Flip Flops are the Glass Slippers of the South

   I have Attention Deficit Disorder. I get distracted easily becau

   My neighbor came knocking at my door at 2:30 this morning...can you believe that, 2:30 A.M. mad me so mad,,lucky for him I was still up playing my drums!!!

   You know how to make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!!

   Old Yeller's a book? All this time I thought it was my brother tooth...

   She hit the brakes and I hit her, and this beautiful blond gets out and says "Ram me in the a$$ why don't you"! And here your honor is were it gets confusing

   You know your getting fat when you go to unbotton your pants...and it already done

   "‎"when I was a kid, I was terrified of ear wigs cause I thought they came outta your ears. just imagine when I found out about cockroaches!""

   Useing the bathroom in Taco Bell, an the guy in the stall next to me has some bad diarrhea, stank'in up the place...I almost couldn't eat my last super burrito!

   Sometimes when you cry, no one see's your tears. Sometimes when your in pain no one see's your hurt. Sometimes when your worried no one see's your stress. Sometimes when your happy no one see's your smile. But fart one time and the whole world knows.