Eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages

   ‎"Your Status has expired. Please deposit $1.25". ~FB Meter Maid

   I was Home School Valedictorian!

   We all have a devil and an angel on our shoulders. Only problem is my devil has a gym membership!

   Closest thing I ever got to a hug growing up, was the scientist picking up the test tube!

   You know breast feeding a baby turtle is not as easy as they make it out to be!

   I literary just saw a chicken cross the road. I want to stop and ask him "Why"?

   Should I still call a DR if I have a have an erection for more then 4 hrs but I have not taken anything???

   I can always tell when it is Senior Citizen Discount Day at the grocery near my house. All the blue parking spaces are double parked.

   I am steaming the widows with my iron and writing the words "Please Help Me" just to see what the nosy neighbors will do.

   I feel like a dirty NASCAR driver removing the restrictor plate on my shower head!

   Better get a bigger spatula before you try flipping that on me!

   My neighbor is always talking about the paranormal. Wonder what she will have to say when she finds out I put Mentos in the bird feeder and Diet Coke in the bird bath.

   Tomorrow is the end? Then I call "SHOTGUN"!!

   I gave my deaf friend an I-Pod for X-mas hoping he would re-gift it back to me.

   I am currently putting together a workout video called "8 Year Abs"

   I dream in High Definition.

   my son just said he just blew the ship up..."Daddy that is S..H..I..P.. not the bad word Ok"?

   For Sale: New Nunchucks. Will consider trading for a bag of ice and a new set of marbles.

   Got in a fight. You should see the other guys....they are perfectly fine.

   I line Dance just so I can kick people and get away with it