DeeX Funny Status Messages

   I'm so glad television redefined the word "marathon" to mean the exact opposite of physical exercise.

   Has Al Sharpton's presence EVER made anything better?

   If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself.

   The difference between "fetish" and "felony" is checking beforehand

   Today is the day that the Blues was made for. Thank you B.B. (Blues Boy) King for everything.

   The most realistic part of Avengers: Age of Ultron was Ultron deciding the human race must be destroyed after spending a few hours on the Internet.

   The fact that Gordon Ramsay hasn't been gutted yet is all the proof I need to know that his show is staged.

   Her: Real men like curves. Me: No. Real men like whatever the (bleep) they want.

   Yea, gun control is awesome...if you're the one controlling the guns.

   I'm not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.

   Everyone's all "confederate flag" this, "gay marriage" that. And I'm just sitting here waiting for the new Minions movie to come out.