snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My exercise program consists of having a lot of stairs in my home,, and forgetting things.
←Rate | 07-19-2012 09:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I lack in imagination,,, I make up.
←Rate | 07-19-2012 09:14 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry
←Rate | 07-19-2012 09:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Prison counts as a gated community, right?
←Rate | 07-19-2012 09:20 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve?
←Rate | 07-19-2012 09:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I talk to an imaginary live studio audience when I'm making dinner.
←Rate | 07-21-2012 09:09 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life advice to kids: In the end Blossom grew up to be Sheldon Cooper's girlfriend,,,, that's all you need to know.
←Rate | 07-21-2012 13:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon BTW,,,,,I'm wearing my Asshat crooked today
←Rate | 07-21-2012 13:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich... I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
←Rate | 07-21-2012 13:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't like to boast,, So I don't....... I'm probably the best at not boasting,, Actually... The very best.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 18:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes,,,, I don't like it at the grown-ups table.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 18:21 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gloria,,, Sometimes I still panic knowing that the rhythm is going to get me.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 18:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My other palindrome is a kayak.................................... my new bumpersticker
←Rate | 07-26-2012 08:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to gain friends,, and just started enjoying reading and writing posts..
←Rate | 07-26-2012 08:33 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imagine if you found a dresser made by Jesus during his "carpenter" days. The guys on Antique Roadshow would lose their minds.
←Rate | 07-26-2012 08:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most important part of being on a gluten free diet is telling everyone about it.
←Rate | 07-26-2012 08:38 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not you.. It's me. And my inability to tolerate you any longer.
←Rate | 07-26-2012 08:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon With my grandkids, I just assume that any word they use that I don't understand is a Pokemon creature.
←Rate | 07-26-2012 08:43 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who wants to come over and watch me collect dog turds on the wheels of my lawn mower?
←Rate | 07-26-2012 10:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon O.K.,,, That's ENOUGH !,, This is the 3rd hose-fight I've broken up today,, And the 2nd one involving actual hoses......
←Rate | 07-26-2012 16:08 by snotty Comments (0)  




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