BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Tall girl & Short guy = Awkward. Tall girl & Tall guy = Cute. Short girl & Tall guy = Adorable. Short girl & Short guy = AWW.

   Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

   Pretending to care about what the birthday card says, but you really just want the money.

   Laugh at your problems, everybody else does

   Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

   So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply b/c the wrong person will often say all the right things.

   The amount of paper towel I use to squash and discard a bug is directly related to whether or not I know what kind of bug it is

   If I had a nickel for every time a girl said, “I'm Over him, I deleted his number & deleted him off Facebook” & then their back together the next day.

   The bar was closed when I got there with a sign that said, “The door is alarmed.” I said to myself, “How do you think I feel?”

   Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid.

   "No comment" usually translates into "Oh, if you only knew."

   There is never a GOOD way to say BYE.

   My Dear Ex, Don't get your hopes up about the pics of us on Facebook. The reason why I haven't deleted some of the photos is purely because I look good in them.

   Ladies, it's not that there are no good men out there. It's just that you turned down 6 of em that wanted a chance to treat you right and you chose the a$$hole.

   Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison

   The phrase “I need to talk to you” has the ability to strike fear into the heart of anyone

   I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.

   Whenever someone posts something like, “Just went on a massive friend-deleting spree!,” I'm never quite sure whether to feel like a winner for making the cut or a loser for having friends lame e

   There's no law against sticking to your guns, but make sure you've loaded your brain before you start firing off your mouth.

   I live on the corner of Funny Street and Silly Road,in Crazy Town which is in Physco Valley,in a twisted state of mind!