snotty Funny Status Messages
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I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn't a very good one.
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07-04-2012 11:42 by snotty
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My short-term memory is my ONLY problem..... Well, that, and my short-term memory
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07-04-2012 11:43 by snotty
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Please do me a solid and don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and extremely hard to light. -- The Janitor
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07-05-2012 16:39 by snotty
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There are now online dating sites for seniors... I bet that "forgot password?" button is gonna get used a lot.
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07-05-2012 21:11 by snotty
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New machine at the gym,,, Brilliant!! but I couldn't take any more after 30 mins,,,,,, It did everything: Kit-Kats, M&M's, Snickers, chips......
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07-06-2012 07:24 by snotty
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Bees.. Bees.. the musical fruit, the more you eat,,,,, the more you get stung in your mouth and throat by bees
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07-06-2012 18:44 by snotty
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I made some urgent upgrades to your computer. Did you know it had NO maple syrup in it before? Guess how much maple syrup it has now?... LOTS.
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07-06-2012 18:45 by snotty
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My favorite kinds of lists,,,,, # 1: short lists
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07-06-2012 18:51 by snotty
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How are we supposed to cure cancer when we can't even find a cure for country music.
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07-07-2012 13:36 by snotty
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Just think,,, 20 years ago my television set weighed 350lbs.. And my wife weighed 105lbs ...
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07-07-2012 13:40 by snotty
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Oh-NO !! There's BLOOD in the toilet,,,,,,, I can't remember, is it “Red stool at night,, colon's delight. Red stool at morning,, bowels take warning.” Or the other way around???
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07-07-2012 13:52 by snotty
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The Ten Commandments would be way more awesome if they just changed the first one to "Yahweh or the Highway."
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07-07-2012 13:56 by snotty
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Tip: If your parents are always criticizing you,,, ask them if the problem is bad genes or bad parenting.
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07-07-2012 18:48 by snotty
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Listen, I'm sorry... That reaction was WAY over the line.... I actually have no problem with the horse you rode in on....
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07-07-2012 20:20 by snotty
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If I could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, I would choose alive,,, because eating with dead people is just creepy.
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07-08-2012 20:00 by snotty
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I'm going to start doing things WITH further ado......... Take that, ado haters.
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07-08-2012 20:01 by snotty
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Ummm,,,,, Sorry about "car chases",,,,,,, ALL you European outdoor fruit markets,, And cart-vendors
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07-08-2012 20:05 by snotty
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Well,,, I'm off to leave single shoes on the side of the highway for my annual summer road trip.. Yeah, that's me,,,,, I've been doing that.
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07-08-2012 20:12 by snotty
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My boss writes ' for weiner touching' in the memo line on ALL my pay checks.... And YES,,, the bank tellers look at each other then smile at me
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07-08-2012 20:26 by snotty
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Drank two pitchers of mojitos and didn't post a photo of it... Yes,,, it IS actually possible do that.
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07-08-2012 20:28 by snotty
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