life Funny Status Messages

   Sometimes all I'm really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next.

   Life is like a giant clogged up toilet If only someone was able to fix it...

   I drop my ipod:( ………and then my headphones save it's life :)

   If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie. "Come on 'long prosperous life!'"

   Music has charms to soothe the savage breast ...... it can lift you higher then the sky , make you sad or even cry but what it does is it can make life worth living.....

   You know life sucks when you have to start wearing "corrective" underwear.

   life is like a box of chocolates..and sometimes you get ex lax....

   I have found that the best stress reliever in life is not giving a crap.

   I wish my book of life was written in pencil There are a few pages I would like to erase.

   Signs that you have no life: when you have nothing better to do than complain.

   Cut my life into pizza's, this is my plastic fork. Oven baking, heavy breathing, dont give a f**k if it's carbs that I'm eatting;)

   First dates in movies always consist of activities that would never work in real life. Oh, paddle boating in a lake... so romantic until the first fight comes 4 seconds in on which person is not pulling their weight.

   The most valuable contribution social networking sites have made to my life is showing me how ridiculous it was to have ever been intimidated by or feel less than the people I went to high school with.

   Whenever I worry that I've been wasting my life, I cheer myself up by remembering that I have never read a Twilight book.

   NOTE TO SELF: Remember not to post about my personal life on FaceBook. And don't forget to pick up condoms for my date with whats her name..........

   Life is like a roller coaster. Sometimes you close your eyes and hold on in shear terror and other times you just have to throw your hands up in the air and enjoy the ride.

   If god is a dj, life is a dancefloor, love is a rhythm, you are the music, you get what you are given it's all how you use it and god wants you to shake your ass!

   If this past life dictating the stuff that happens to you is true, I really think that the previous life should leave an apology note or something. "Sorry dude but during this life, I did a lot of sh!t that's going to bite you in the @ss. Heads up."

   I got enough crap in my life at the moment sorry I cant fit you in!

   Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.