snotty Funny Status Messages
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I Just unlocked the 'Five Naps in One Day Achievement' in the game that is my life.
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06-28-2012 19:16 by snotty
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Hey,,,I say stuff, you should say stuff with me,, and then we'll have fun... M-kay?
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06-30-2012 08:12 by snotty
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So,,, The dog won our farting contest... I'm going to bed to think about what I could've done differently.
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06-30-2012 08:13 by snotty
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Hey,,, guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes,,,,,, NOBODY likes you.
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06-30-2012 08:14 by snotty
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I can thwart just about ANY knock knock joke by answering, "Just a minute!",,,,, or " Come in,, it's open! "
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06-30-2012 08:17 by snotty
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Two Facebook addicts walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says.................NOTHING,, cause he's just staring down at his phone
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07-01-2012 07:27 by snotty
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I use a remote control for my car stereo because,,,,, Well,, You know,,,,, Who would EVER want to lean forward a little bit?...
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07-01-2012 07:32 by snotty
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I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
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07-01-2012 08:01 by snotty
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You know what's really great about being a narcissist? Me.
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07-01-2012 20:28 by snotty
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I thought we were gonna buy Mexico, Then fix it up & flip it... What ever happened with that?
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07-01-2012 20:31 by snotty
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I think EVERY elevator should have it's "2" button replaced with,, "Congratulations, You lazy fat-ass."
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07-01-2012 22:19 by snotty
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A baby frog just purposely threw himself in front of my lawn mower..... I guess he wanted to Kermit suicide.
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07-02-2012 20:34 by snotty
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When I bite into a York peppermint patty,, I get the sensation,,,,,, That I should have bought a Reese's peanut butter cup...
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07-02-2012 20:42 by snotty
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"I know,, Let's tape a spider to a lobster and scare the crap out of everyone." -- God, when He made scorpions
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07-03-2012 06:53 by snotty
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FYI : The "Supreme Court" is just the "regular court",, served with sour cream and tomatoes
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07-03-2012 06:56 by snotty
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When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage lightbulbs
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07-04-2012 06:44 by snotty
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Being a parent in the South is so easy... You just have to shout "Simmer Down" every few days.
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07-04-2012 10:19 by snotty
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Thanks for calling the revolutionary tipline. Your call is important to us. Press: 1 if by land, 2 if by sea, 3 to hear these options in Spanish
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07-04-2012 11:35 by snotty
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The Andy Griffith funeral? Who knows.. he could be cremated...or.. they Mayberry him
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07-04-2012 11:37 by snotty
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List of things I've accomplished today:,,,,, #1 Make accomplishment list..............................................................
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07-04-2012 11:39 by snotty
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