snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I Just unlocked the 'Five Naps in One Day Achievement' in the game that is my life.
←Rate | 06-28-2012 19:16 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,,,I say stuff, you should say stuff with me,, and then we'll have fun... M-kay?
←Rate | 06-30-2012 08:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon So,,, The dog won our farting contest... I'm going to bed to think about what I could've done differently.
←Rate | 06-30-2012 08:13 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,,, guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes,,,,,, NOBODY likes you.
←Rate | 06-30-2012 08:14 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can thwart just about ANY knock knock joke by answering, "Just a minute!",,,,, or " Come in,, it's open! "
←Rate | 06-30-2012 08:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two Facebook addicts walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says.................NOTHING,, cause he's just staring down at his phone
←Rate | 07-01-2012 07:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I use a remote control for my car stereo because,,,,, Well,, You know,,,,, Who would EVER want to lean forward a little bit?...
←Rate | 07-01-2012 07:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
←Rate | 07-01-2012 08:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what's really great about being a narcissist? Me.
←Rate | 07-01-2012 20:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought we were gonna buy Mexico, Then fix it up & flip it... What ever happened with that?
←Rate | 07-01-2012 20:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think EVERY elevator should have it's "2" button replaced with,, "Congratulations, You lazy fat-ass."
←Rate | 07-01-2012 22:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon A baby frog just purposely threw himself in front of my lawn mower..... I guess he wanted to Kermit suicide.
←Rate | 07-02-2012 20:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I bite into a York peppermint patty,, I get the sensation,,,,,, That I should have bought a Reese's peanut butter cup...
←Rate | 07-02-2012 20:42 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I know,, Let's tape a spider to a lobster and scare the crap out of everyone." -- God, when He made scorpions
←Rate | 07-03-2012 06:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI : The "Supreme Court" is just the "regular court",, served with sour cream and tomatoes
←Rate | 07-03-2012 06:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage lightbulbs
←Rate | 07-04-2012 06:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a parent in the South is so easy... You just have to shout "Simmer Down" every few days.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 10:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for calling the revolutionary tipline. Your call is important to us. Press: 1 if by land, 2 if by sea, 3 to hear these options in Spanish
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Andy Griffith funeral? Who knows.. he could be cremated...or.. they Mayberry him
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon List of things I've accomplished today:,,,,, #1 Make accomplishment list..............................................................
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:39 by snotty Comments (0)  




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