Baddie Funny Status Messages

   I miss those good old days when you were just another stranger.

   It's not cheating if she's there too.

   Hey, how about making a normal face when you sing?

   I like woman who are mentally stable and sexually unstable.

   Oh I get it. Winnie the Pooh Bear can climb a tree with no pants, but when I have a few drinks and do it, people start freaking out.

   Ever notice the bigger the girl, the more Looney Tunes characters she has on her shirt.

   And for my next trick, I am gonna make 20 of my FB friends delete and block me in next 10 hours.

   Here, let me fix that grin on your face with this shovel.

   Imagination: because if I we did you as much as I thought about it, we'd both be unemployed.

   You look like you would ruin my life. Let's have sex. -women

   You call it a train wreck I call her my daughter.

   My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows.

   Britney Spears is a judge on the X Factor and Khloe Kardashian is a host. Is this a circus or a music competition?

   How much cooler would it have been if Apple made Mini-Me introduce the iPad mini?

   Hey idiots who worship celebrities; if they had to shoot you or their dog, they'd also chop you up and watch the dog eat you.

   I always cry after sex... $400.00 is a lot of money.

   In traffic no one hears you scream.

   I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think…is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

   No matter how useless you feel, take pleasure in the fact that you're someone's reason to masturbate.

   I love strippers. They're awesome. Plus I can't get my girlfriend to do shi t for a dollar.