BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.

   Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when the person across the aisle is reading it?

   I met a woman who told me she wanted to walk a mile in my shoes. I guess she liked them because that was three weeks ago and I haven't seen her since.

   It's not officially summer until you start forgetting what day of the week it is.

   When I was little, I used to watch the raindrops roll down the window and see which one "won"

   My next house will have no kitchen—just vending machines and a large trash can.

   There are worse things than waking up on the wrong side of the bed. You could wake up on the right side of the bed with the wrong person.

   B**ch please. Don't confuse hate with jealousy.

   Our relationship was like the Fourth of July. It started with fireworks but was over by the end of the night.

   Why do they try to make pet food in TV commercials look good to humans?

   it's not that I'm bad at remembering names, I'm just awesome at forgetting some of them.

   No one ever says, “It's only a game,” when their team is winning.

   My EX was like "We can still be friends" damn is like saying "Hey, the gold fish died but we can keep it"

   Life is like a sports car: It goes too fast, and it costs too much.

   I live the same as I type: Fast and with lots of mistakes.

   Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.

   Apparently you shouldn't ever answer a girl's text message with “k.” Bad idea.

   No one can change a person, but someone can be a person`s reason to change

   People who dream big sleep a lot.

   rumors ? oh wellll ; at least you're spreading something else besides your legs.