santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny, seemed to like the rich families more. Who liked the poor families more? the Stork.

   it me or does Harry look like the bully from A Christmas Story?

   Ahh the Sunday after Easter... Catholics forgot where church was already, see you at Christmas!

   When you're parents accuse you of lying to them, just look them in the eye and say; SANTA CLAUSE! EASTER BUNNY! TOOTH FAIRY!"

   Lovin my early Christmas present of a Massage Chair! Work never felt so good!.. Now if someone would just invent a vibrating tampon I could start lovin my periods too!

   so the Bible says the world is going to end May 21, 2011.. Santa Claus always said the Mayan's got the date right years ago. well thats what the Easter bunny told me....

   I thought about being atheist...then I realized they dont have any holidays

   Due to public service cutbacks, the Rapture is simply going to be based on Santa's Naughty/Nice List.

   You might as well do your Christmas hinting early...

   Dear my money tree, why must thou look like the charlie brown christmas tree?

   I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.

   Just filled up my gas tank and now I have to explain to the kids I don't have why there won't be a Christmas this year.

   172 days, 1 hour and 25 minutes until christmas! But hey, whos counting

   I've just popped down with my floral tribute to Amy Winehouse, last years Xmas tree. It's the perfect tribute, 5 & a half feet, dead & surrounded by needles.

   Manager: A room with double bed? But sir you are alone? Santa: Yes, It is just that I wish to enjoy the silence from the other bed.

   My girlfriend called me sad because I always plan things months in advance. That's her off my Christmas card list!

   ‎5 reasons hurricanes are like Christmas...5) Family & friends out-of state-calling you 4) Last minute shopping in crowded stores 3) Days off from work 2) Candles 1) And at some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!

   I predict that if, by 21 December 2012, the world doesn't end, I'll still have to buy christmas gifts..

   I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no holidays.

   4 out of 5 bubble baths result in Santa Claus beards.