snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I prefer to believe that Eleanor Rigby was really quite popular,, and that her funeral just happened to coincide with the "American Idol" finale.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 10:50 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first rule of Thesaurus Club is,, You don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, chin wag, natter or chat about Thesaurus Club.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 07:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ahhhh,,, At last, my wife has found something her butt does not look big in............... Walmart
←Rate | 06-02-2012 07:30 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Try saying "good luck" without sounding sarcastic..... Good luck.
←Rate | 06-03-2012 14:30 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when I forget I'm watching a show on DVR and I accidentally watch all the commercials.
←Rate | 06-03-2012 14:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget flying cars... I want Futurama's complex system of air tubes that take us everywhere....Weeeee !
←Rate | 06-03-2012 14:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My most recent workout,, was trying to find that "starting edge" of the toilet paper roll.
←Rate | 06-03-2012 14:38 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boycott IHOP!,,,, And only buy domestic.
←Rate | 06-03-2012 19:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, aliens not so close, ghosts close, snakes far away, skeletons close, Spiders far away,,, And everything else just in a big pile
←Rate | 06-04-2012 19:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could really use one of those Chris Farley,, 'down by the river',, speeches right about now...
←Rate | 06-04-2012 20:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how many times Paula Deen's 1st husband plotted to kill her in her sleep, only to be foiled by his own laughter at her sleep farts.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 13:16 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon WAIT.... So the suicide hotline is only for prevention?,, and not for nominating people to kill themselves?.. Well this sucks,,, I filled out a list and everything.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 13:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm convinced that anyone driving the speed limit or slower is either 80+yrs. Or has drugs in their car...
←Rate | 06-05-2012 13:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's weird how all the floor around my father is made of eggshells.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 07:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The road to Hell is paved with everything that feels like Heaven.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 07:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people live in regular houses,, when there are steakhouses?
←Rate | 06-08-2012 23:48 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'm just too intelligent for sanity
←Rate | 06-10-2012 17:09 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ummm uh-oh,,,, My car's GPS asked me,,, "Who's Siri?"
←Rate | 06-10-2012 17:13 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thinkin,,, People in rubber houses shouldn't throw stones either
←Rate | 06-10-2012 17:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My grandson just told me that walking to school uphill both ways when I was a kid sounds odd, & I should have found an alternative route on my GPS..
←Rate | 06-10-2012 17:20 by snotty Comments (0)  




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