snotty Funny Status Messages
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I prefer to believe that Eleanor Rigby was really quite popular,, and that her funeral just happened to coincide with the "American Idol" finale.
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06-01-2012 10:50 by snotty
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The first rule of Thesaurus Club is,, You don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, chin wag, natter or chat about Thesaurus Club.
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06-02-2012 07:26 by snotty
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Ahhhh,,, At last, my wife has found something her butt does not look big in............... Walmart
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06-02-2012 07:30 by snotty
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Try saying "good luck" without sounding sarcastic..... Good luck.
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06-03-2012 14:30 by snotty
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I hate it when I forget I'm watching a show on DVR and I accidentally watch all the commercials.
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06-03-2012 14:32 by snotty
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Forget flying cars... I want Futurama's complex system of air tubes that take us everywhere....Weeeee !
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06-03-2012 14:34 by snotty
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My most recent workout,, was trying to find that "starting edge" of the toilet paper roll.
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06-03-2012 14:38 by snotty
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Boycott IHOP!,,,, And only buy domestic.
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06-03-2012 19:55 by snotty
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Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, aliens not so close, ghosts close, snakes far away, skeletons close, Spiders far away,,, And everything else just in a big pile
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06-04-2012 19:10 by snotty
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I could really use one of those Chris Farley,, 'down by the river',, speeches right about now...
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06-04-2012 20:49 by snotty
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I wonder how many times Paula Deen's 1st husband plotted to kill her in her sleep, only to be foiled by his own laughter at her sleep farts.
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06-05-2012 13:16 by snotty
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WAIT.... So the suicide hotline is only for prevention?,, and not for nominating people to kill themselves?.. Well this sucks,,, I filled out a list and everything.
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06-05-2012 13:19 by snotty
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I'm convinced that anyone driving the speed limit or slower is either 80+yrs. Or has drugs in their car...
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06-05-2012 13:27 by snotty
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It's weird how all the floor around my father is made of eggshells.
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06-06-2012 07:34 by snotty
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The road to Hell is paved with everything that feels like Heaven.
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06-06-2012 07:35 by snotty
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Why do people live in regular houses,, when there are steakhouses?
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06-08-2012 23:48 by snotty
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I think I'm just too intelligent for sanity
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06-10-2012 17:09 by snotty
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Ummm uh-oh,,,, My car's GPS asked me,,, "Who's Siri?"
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06-10-2012 17:13 by snotty
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I thinkin,,, People in rubber houses shouldn't throw stones either
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06-10-2012 17:15 by snotty
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My grandson just told me that walking to school uphill both ways when I was a kid sounds odd, & I should have found an alternative route on my GPS..
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06-10-2012 17:20 by snotty
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