markf Funny Status Messages

   secretly wishes Michael had gone ahead and body-slammed Ryan Seacrest last night.

   letdown. Crop circles just don't have the same mystique in backyard grass. (mood: disappointed)

   looking at the "voluntary" tax contribution box on his 1040 form and wondering what planet those IRS guys are from.

   glad to hear that the IRS is finally concerned that some people have been trying without success to dial the IRS Taxpayer Assistance Hot Line since 1984.

   sad that '24' is coming to an end after 8 seasons. I have given 8 whole days of my life to this series.

   confused...the system admin told me to 'have a little patients.' Does this mean I need to become a pediatrician?

   getting ready for May 21st (this Friday) which is Talk Like Yoda Day...practicing we should be, hmm?

   wondering why cameras have round lenses that take square pictures.

   wondering why people with bad breath are always wanting to tell me a secret.

   passed a door in the stairwell with the sign: "Door is Alarmed." I told it to relax, everything is going to be okay.

   wondering why someone would put down their needle anywhere near a haystack.

   thinks the markets are sliding faster today than a disgruntled flight attendant.

   thinking they need to rename 'Dancing with the Stars' to 'Dancing with the National Enquirer.'

   wonders if someone driving a VW bug knows they are causing fistfights wherever they go.

   heard that Bruce Willis is working on the next Die Hard movie. Working titles are Die Hard: The Colonoscopy or Die Hard: Medicare with a Vengeance.

   relieved to see Facebook finally expanded the Religion choice to include Amish, for all those Amish people out there with computers.

   thinks it's funny that the Carnival cruise ship passengers were complaining about having no showers and eating nothing but Spam and Pop-Tarts. Right now thousands of male computer science majors are trying to find out how to sign up for the next cruise.

   wondering what Captain Hook's name was before he lost his hand.

   thinking that Venti must be the Italian word for "you just paid an insane amount of money for a cup of coffee."

   happy that President Obama recently visited India. Maybe now we can start sending jobs in Congress offshore.