djjackson Funny Status Messages

   From Cairo, Egypt: The government has instructed all city cab drivers to sound their horns while driving through the city. It's hoped that a return of familiar city sounds will help restore calm due to Corona. Operation Toot N Calm Em will last a week.

   When 50 cent got hungry... 58

   Oh come on this is ridiculous! It’s July 8th and people are still setting fireworks off. One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.

   My wife said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on... I just don't get women.

   Neutering our dog was the best thing we ever did. Made him less nuts.

   The season is upon us and I personally enjoy a nice port wine for dessert. However sometimes a starboard wine is the right choice.

   Anyone know how to get a club soda stain out?

   I found a 129.00 Kylie Minogue concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it. You never know when you might need a nail.

   Why do ballerinas always stand on their toes? They should hire taller ballerinas...

   Jesus walks into a bar: Orders 12 waters... Winks at disciples....

   Took my car into the mechanic. It was making a horrible high-pitched squeal. He said it was coming from the the Mariah Carey Christmas CD.

   Tiger Kings, Joe Exotic will never sing Christmas songs cause he hates carols.