danny Funny Status Messages

   Life is Great, if it was any better, I would have to charge myself admission!

   Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.

   Famous Marilyn Monroe dress sold for $4.6 million. I bet Joe DiMaggio sent more shots against that dress than the wall at Yankee Stadium!

   I have come to the conclusion that Google must be female, as she has the answer to everything and Yahoo is a Male , pointless and never works ..

   The most terrifying question a woman can ask a man is: Notice anything different?

   I really think I am gonna get a knock on my front door one day and the person saying "We have ten people in common on Facebook, can I come in ?"

   I looked at you and all I could see was perfection, you looked at me and in your eyes I was a rejection.

   Best Christian pick up line " I was reading the book of numbers and then I realized I did not have yours "

   Every time I consider being healthy, I remember pizza.

   Throwing lamps at people that need to lighten up...

   I don't like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else

   We all have that one friend that makes us laugh with their stupidity.

   I'm not ready to adopt a highway, but a dead end street feels familiar and manageable.

   Face it. Tomboys are the sexiest damn girls you'll EVER see.

   has forgotten which sock goes on which foot

   When I say, "No problem," I mean, "YOU REMEMBER THIS FAVOUR FOREVER."

   I think stuffed animals have learned their lesson.

   If you play Justin Bieber backwards you get hidden messages from the devil himself to pull yourself together and listen to something else.

   "Continental Breakfast". What is continental with jam, bread and coffee/tea?

   Wow, you're sweet in long distance! Maybe a long distance relationship could work.