abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

   Sometimes I think NASA is making shit up just to see if anyone's listening.

   I'll have a coke please . Hhmmm is Pepsi ok ? Hhmm how about no ! Is monopoly money ok ?

   I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be "Nobody" so when I see stupid crap people post, I can "Like" it. And it will say "Nobody Likes This"

   Kinda feels weird when your computer asks if you'd like to continue unprotected....

   I hate you cheetos . You ruined all my good jeans .

   No facebook, I wanna know what's on your mind!

   5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette

   Guys, if you really want her to stop complaining about the toilet seat being up, pee with it down a few times.

   Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year, I'm celebrating Discount Chocolate Tuesday.

   If you have kids, your life is kids. If you don't, your life is going out to eat and buying electronics.

   When you find someone who finally understands you, the world will go away.

   When people ask "do you believe in aliens?", I just say "have you seen Lady Gaga?"

   Girls gain weight because their brains can't hold all the info so it spreads to other places. Therefore she's not fat, she's a genius.

   What makes the Superbowl half time show better than the Grammys? The Superbowl half-time show was only 1/2 hour.

   Facebook keeps showing me my ex "people you may know" Yes, FB, "People I wish I didn't know" quit taunting me on Vday!

   Happy "Romantically Challenged" Day.

   Just to be different, I cry about being single on the 4th of July, and celebrate Valentine's Day with explosives.

   If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine's Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.

   Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day."

   I just got an email asking me if I wanted to "be larger so I could please my lady." Heck no! She's the one who put me on this diet to begin with!