Tommy Chevelle Funny Status Messages

   Gas diet: Get your paycheck... fill up your car and you have no money to buy food! Bam...you lose weight!

   I've done more today than I've done in 4 years.

   When someone yells STOP, I don't know if it's In the Name of Love, it's Hammertime, or that I should Stop, Collaborate, and Listen.

   A real man should never wave faster than he SAYS the word "hey"

   I'm glad that "worchestershire" isn't a word we have to use everyday! I would appear retarded.

   You know you're getting old when the faster you move... the more you forget!

   I'll never forget the awesome feeling in kindergarten when I had the largest box of crayons with the sharpener.

   Hi, I'm Tom Bodet for Motel 6. We'll leave the LYSOL.

   We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!

   Apparently, you no longer have to be 21 to consume Budweiser!

   One of the hardest things I ever had to do as a kid was OPEN a Band-Aid with a cut finger... using a stupid red string.

   How the hell do hundreds of male Smurfs live with only ONE female smurf? It's no wonder they're BLUE!

   All day I've been getting calls from the number "1"... I finally answered it and NO ONE was there.

   You should never judge a person by how clean the inside of their microwave is.