Otis Funny Status Messages

   going to opt for GPS on our next dryer. Should help locate those missing socks.

   The Packers did a discount double choke on Sunday

   Dr says my cholesterol count is so high that... I can't even say "cheese" when I get my picture taken.

   I prefer my kale with a silent "K"

   Uh, rah rah baseball people. Football season's begun. More You can stop now. Thanks.

   On this Thanksgiving I am thankful to all of your post that make me look funny on Facebook.

   I know I’m getting old when playing the stock market is more fun than playing a video game

   I do not want to get the Coronavirus that’s why I switched to Modelo

   I want to start a Go Fund Me account to sponsor any Coronavirus infectious people to pay them to go hug a politician

   Home quarantine going great so far but not sure what day it is or what hour it is and I’m not really sure where I parked.

   Deep thoughts by Johnny Quarantine. Minnesota votes to disband police department and go with a community-based public safety program. I’m assuming this community-based public safety program will be comprised of police officers who recently lost their jo

   When tyranny becomes law rebellion becomes duty

   I told my wife she has to embrace her mistakes. So she hugged me.

   My wife asked me the other day if I had seen the dog bowl. I replied, I didn’t know he did that.

   Why didn’t we use the Seattle Space Needle to take down the Chinese balloon?

   Wondering, what are the aliens on the dark side of the moon doing? Seeing the sun for the first time?