Jeffafa Funny Status Messages

   I really don't need a girlfriend.... Facebook always ask what I’m thinking, Twitter's asking me what I’m doing, and Foursquare is always asking me where I'm at. All I need to do is find a way to have the Internet make me a sandwich!

   90% of my workout consist of me finding the rite song, 9% trying to bend down to put my shoes on, and 1% kicking off my shoes to crawl into bed!

   I wonder if Miley Cyrus's foam finger will be sold on Ebay? Pretty sure there will have to be a disclosure stating "Warning: Smells Like Shame"

   Good luck to all the Hunters this weekend! I've had no luck hunting White Tale all year!

   Last night I kicked off my shoes, stripped down to my boxers and laid on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn. Enjoying the experience of the new home theater system. Apparently the Best Buy salesman wanted me to take it home and try it first.

   Well this morning I woke up in a box under my tree... I guess I should of been more specific when I told Santa "I want the sexiest person alive for Christmas"!

   Back in the day when I was attracted to a girl I never had enough guts to ask her out. Now with Facebook I am suppose to be confident enough to poke her? #singleforever

   When my daughter grows up, I'm going to start reading her Facebook status's before bedtime. Just so she understands the importance of staying in school!

   Women check me out all the time!! I'm pretty selective on which lane I go to when leaving a store.

   I was excited about spending some time on my treadmill this morning, but I don't know where I put my roller-blades. ugh.

   According to my calculations, 2025 is going to be the best year ever - I will finally run out of Conditioner the same time as the Shampoo, It's the little things in life I tell ya!

   Sweet! McDonalds must be still celebrating St. Patricks day today by dyeing there hamburger meat green! Oh wait....

   ‪#‎TBT‬ 1990's: Street lights are on; belts off. get your ass home!

   None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes... maybe these 20 cats really aren't my friends after all :(

   Only 40 days till Christmas... you know what that means? 41 days till I jump back in the dating pool!!