Gary Funny Status Messages

   Have you ever noticed that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

   an animal rights activist against fur but not leather because it's easier to harass rich old ladies instead of motorcycle gangs

   Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

   In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him

   Some people should use glue stick for lip balm.

   Like if you remember San francisco riding gear jeans

   Tired? Cranky ? Feeling like crap .....There's a nap for that .

   I stopped by the apple store and used their bathroom .. iPeed

   Just remembering some of my elementary school days and chuckled when I remembered how sitting “boy, girl, boy, girl” used to be a punishment.

   The noblest of dogs of all dogs is the hot dog , It feeds the hand that bites it !!

   I'll never be able to run for President because of what I did for a Klondike Bar.

   I'll never be able to run for President because of what I did for a Klondike Bar.

   So we gain a Kardashian but lose Tony Soprano ? Lifes exchange rate just took a dip ....

   The difference between Republican and Democrat is the difference between Gonorrhea and syphilis ..ENJOY !!!

   "What the h*ll is wrong with you, if I wanted a loser I would have married Tony Romo" ~ Giselle to Tom probably

   Marriage tip #2: If your wife is acting kind of tired, to help her out, you can make her a to-do list. And when you give it to her, she will be thankful that you did all the thinking work for her.