Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   Q: What would happen if the earth rotates 30 times faster? A: Men would get their salary everyday and women would bleed to death.

   I just turned on the news and they said "The Occupiers are trying to figure out where to go to next." How about a job interview?

   The embarrassing moment when you accept a compliment that wasn't meant for you.

   I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

   Feels like I spooned an aggressive hedgehog last night.

   Yes there's plenty of fish in the sea, but don't forget about the sharks, seaweed, oil spills, toxic waste and the Somali pirates.

   Dont treat your lady like rubbish or another man will just recycle her

   Women don't trust Men, not because they cheat but because they know how scandalous and shady other Women are!

   I heard you are a PLAYA. Nice to meet you, I am the COACH.

   That uneasy moment when you work at Subway and have to make a girl a sandwich.

   An Airline introduced a Special Package for Businessmen; “BUY YOUR TICKET AND GET ONE FREE FOR YOUR WIFE” After a year of great success, the company sent letters to all the wives asking if they enjoyed the free tickets. All of them gave the same reply

   Think inside the box. The best ideas happen during sex.

   I'm proud of every woman I've ever had sex with. I don't regret any of you.

   Twilight did to vampires what Brokeback Mountain did to cowboys.

   Don't judge me unless you can show me your acceptance letter to heaven.

   FACT: If Osama Bin Laden hid where I hide my porn, he would still be alive today.

   All fun things are taxed... and there is even a tax on sex... it's called children.

   Man kneeling by the bed, Wife says,"What are you praying for? " Husband says: "Guidance. " Wife says, "Pray for stiffness, I'll guide the damn thing myself!"

   Think before you speak, and do not speak all that you think.

   I'll admit it, the ring girls are one of the main reasons I watch boxing.