CindyAnn Funny Status Messages

   Does anybody else check their keyboard after somebody mispells something to see how close the letters were?

   Just when I think I couldn't possibly be any lazier, I surprise myself.

   When I think of a good status update in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it's too late.

   If I'm not in your "top stories" when you open Facebook, then your Facebook is broken! ~ Me, probably.

   Secret to using the best approach when attempting to engage in conversation with me ... don't.

   Girls who are on the same menstrual cycle as their friends should basically be referred to as gang members. That's how dangerous they are.

   Wife math: "it was like 100 bucks" = it was at least $250.00.

   My "I hate you" face must look very similar to my "tell me more" face. I'll have to work on that.

   To make a long story short...I walk away.

   If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don't want it.

   I fart, because it's the only gas I can afford.

   Think I'm about to have a boregasm.

   How dare you steal my status and not like it first! Stop.............(runs after) thief!!!

   The only yoga stretch I've perfected is the yawn.

   Do you ever stop and think about the days before Facebook, when you would do something and actually not tell anyone?

   Why can't the world come to Peace rather than Pieces?

   Got a flat tire... Pulled over to change it. Stupid guy says, "Did your tire go flat?" I said " No, I was driving along and the other 3 just swelled up!"

   sometimes when I read certain things it's like having my eyes raped by stupidity.

   Some people in your life are there to serve a certain purpose, well this is your notice your services are no longer needed.

   Dear Me, I just wanted to remind you that it's okay to say "No" once in awhile. I'll let you in on a little secret-the world will go on! Love, Me