Boo Funny Status Messages

   Screw your Four Loko... I've got a Dayquil with a 5hour energy and Grande Latte chaser with my name on it!... If you dont believe me, just ask my pet Unicorn

   You have no idea how bad I want to write "Navidad" under the "For Lease" sign up the street!....Just Sayin...

   No I do not want to see who deleted you from facebook in 2010.. And if you keep it up, I'm going to be first on the list for 2011..

   Michael Jacksons twin sister died... R.I.P Elizabeth Taylor...

   The awkward moment when one of your friends has the same facebook status as you...Damn this page.. they are onto me!

   Dear windshield wipers,...You cant touch this.....Sincerely, The triangle

   Dear Fox News, So far no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed

   What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a BJ.

   oly crap! I just realized that I'm still "it" from a game of tag in 1987.

   You know you need to go grocery shopping when your grapes start tasting like wine

   Never trust a man that comes out of a bathroom with dry hands...

   Did anyone else see Gary Busey get married this morning?

   Lovin my early Christmas present of a Massage Chair! Work never felt so good!.. Now if someone would just invent a vibrating tampon I could start lovin my periods too!

   Can you believe that people are actually paying Atheists $150 to take care of their pets after the Rapture???!!! I'm just mad because I paid more than that for them to harvest my crops on Farmville.... :(

   I got gas today for $2.45 to bad it was from taco bell

   Flash forward to July 5, 2024 headlines..... 13 years to the day of being found not guilty of the murder of her daughter...Casey Anythony breaks into a Las Vegas hotel, guns drawn to steal back old pictures of when she was a professional club rat! (See OJ

   This just in... OJ Found not quilty... Oh wait...

   The awkard moment when your names is also Casey Anthony, and you log into facebook just to find that all of your frineds want you to burn in hell..

   The OJ trial started the Kardashian tradition of getting black guys off

   "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”