Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages

   How is ''Doable'' anything but a compliment!!!

   I'm not Crazy, I'm just a sane person trapped in the body of a Lunatic!!!

   To the jerk that has been stealing everyone's lunch from the company refridgerator, I sprinkled just the right amout of marijuana and cocaine on that sandwhich of mine you just ate, to fail that suprise drug test that is coming tomorrow! Karma Baby!!!

   This Country is at War!........with itself!!!

   Well I had close call lastnight! This girl I picked up at the bar, drove me back to her place. She looked like a lady, walked like a lady, even talked like a lady! But when she whipped into that parking spot perfectly.....I was like hold on somethings up!

   ''Magic Mike''.......if I hear this one more time I hitting someone with an ''Open Mike!!!''

   R.I.P. Andy Griffith..........There's a new sheriff in town!

   Only God can Judge Me!....and some family, a few friends, the neighbors, definitely a couple co-workers! And all my Facebook friends!!!

   While you are enjoying your BBQ's, cookouts, and family get togethers! Please remember what this Independence Day truly represents! Happy Birthday America! Still the greatest Country in the World!!

   Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn't trust with a Glo-Stick Day!!!

   Yes, that's correct!.....And the Horse you rode in on!!

   I suggest we Drink!..... Before we go out Drinking!!

   On our Birthday! America as a Nation needs desperately to realize that if we do not again regain the lead in Technology and Education, we will continue to bury our heads in the sands of Afghanistan, Iraq, and Pakistan!!!

   How about instead of flirting and carrying on a conversation under my status that has nothing to do with it's original topic, you try using the chat window, the poke button, or maybe even do it the old fashioned way! Call the B!tch!!!

   These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee's, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!!!

   I have no respect for today's gangs! They just drive by and shoot people. At least in the old days, like in ''West Side Story'', the gangs used to dance with eachother first!!

   ''Hey, How was your Blind date?'' ''Terrible! He showed up in a 1932 Rolls Royce!''......''What's so terrible about that?''.....''He was the original owner!!!''

   Had one too many lastnight! Woke up to my neighbor mowing his lawn! .....I don't care, I am not moving! He's just going to have to mow around me!!!

   I had formed an opinion of this Lazy Guy, and then I thought, until I have walked a mile in his shoes, so I did! Now I know he's Lazy and has Athlete's Foot!!!

   Friday is my Second Favorite ''F'' Word!!!