Baddie Funny Status Messages
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Page: 19 of 86
By the time most women are comfortable with their bodies, I'm not.
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10-03-2012 10:20 by Baddie
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As a guy, the hardest thing about shopping for lingerie is asking for a fitting room
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10-03-2012 13:43 by Baddie
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Alcohol is god's way of telling you you're pretty.
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10-04-2012 14:01 by Baddie
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I ate so much Chinese food this week I can feel my d ick getting smaller. Related: eating fried chicken all next week.
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10-04-2012 14:41 by Baddie
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Of course I do respect the dead. I don't respect anyone unless they are dead anyway.
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10-04-2012 14:44 by Baddie
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If your significant other doesn't reply to your text within 5 minutes, they're out cheating on you.
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10-05-2012 14:13 by Baddie
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My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other. She is my buttercup and i'm her useless sack of s hit.
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10-05-2012 14:21 by Baddie
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You can choose your friends, but you're stuck with your coworkers.
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10-05-2012 14:54 by Baddie
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I wish I had the confidence in real life that ugly people have on Facebook.
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10-05-2012 15:20 by Baddie
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Beer tastes so delicious when you hate everyone!
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10-06-2012 06:53 by Baddie
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If you don't feel the love on Facebook then you're stalking the wrong people.
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10-06-2012 10:13 by Baddie
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Everytime a girl tells me she doesn't feel good I squeeze her boob and call her a liar.
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10-06-2012 10:13 by Baddie
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n't it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don't know what ironic means.
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10-06-2012 11:18 by Baddie
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This episode was brought to you by an overreaction, the crazy voices in her head, and a special guest appearance from PMS.
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10-06-2012 11:36 by Baddie
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I don't claim to know what happens inside the dishwasher, but I'm guessing that it's like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
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10-06-2012 14:01 by Baddie
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At some point in the day, Hugh Hefner has to think "God, shut up b itches!"
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10-07-2012 08:45 by Baddie
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I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn't taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot.
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10-07-2012 08:46 by Baddie
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I bet I can stay drunk longer than you can complain about it.
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10-07-2012 08:52 by Baddie
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If you dont sway side to side when listening to Stevie Wonder then we can't be friends.
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10-07-2012 09:08 by Baddie
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I love being a father. Children start off as little bundles of joy and eventually grown up to be great at getting you a beer.
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10-07-2012 11:04 by Baddie
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