SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "My phone's about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call ....
←Rate | 08-21-2012 15:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Box wine? I prefer the term Cardboardeaux.
←Rate | 08-27-2012 11:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can't hear me through binoculars.
←Rate | 08-27-2012 11:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant could also be called I Didn't Realize I Was Retarded.
←Rate | 08-27-2012 11:41 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon We're probably missing out on a lot of good candy by stereotyping creepy people who have white vans with tinted windows who give free candy.
←Rate | 08-27-2012 11:42 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Pringles, it's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed.
←Rate | 08-27-2012 11:44 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon One thing you always pay full price for is other peoples mistakes...
←Rate | 08-28-2012 08:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you people would be better off on a site called TwoFacedBook instead.
←Rate | 08-31-2012 13:05 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wear jeans every day and nobody cares. Wear a shirt twice in a row and you're suddenly homeless in the eyes of everyone.
←Rate | 08-31-2012 13:09 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to work at the post office, I told people I was a mail escorts...
←Rate | 08-31-2012 13:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely
←Rate | 08-31-2012 13:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It wasn't always easy growing up. Sometimes we had to wait .04 seconds for 9 million Google results to load." - 2044 Presidential candidate
←Rate | 09-05-2012 09:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put little notes in my kids' lunch bags so their friends will mock them ruthlessly.
←Rate | 09-05-2012 09:16 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pictures of rich missing kids should go on the back of 1% milk.
←Rate | 09-05-2012 09:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My nickname for my mother was Hannibal Lecture.
←Rate | 09-05-2012 09:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon This one time at band camp.... I put a flute in its proper storage compartment.
←Rate | 09-10-2012 14:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's fun to go up to a dude with a teardrop tattoo and call him a crybaby.
←Rate | 09-10-2012 14:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I take some pride in the fact that I don't need football season to be a terrible husband.
←Rate | 09-10-2012 14:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm writing a thanksgiving cookbook called "50 shades of gravy."
←Rate | 09-10-2012 14:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll believe self-help books work when I see a bunch of them on a sane person's bookshelf.
←Rate | 09-10-2012 14:24 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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