LEMONPILLOW Funny Status Messages

   ..when people write "is ;-)" as their stat message,you tend to think,well,if I was ";-)" would I stop and write a stat update about it? Obviously you're not ";-)" very well.

   March 4th. I like today's date because it's like i'm telling people what to do.

   Naomi Campbell should take up golf because she's really good at hitting the driver.

   If you need space then work at NASA.

   When I said "I wanted to be held" I didn't mean "by the Authorities".

   My laziness is becoming such a issue that I can't even be bothered hanging my clothes on my treadmill anymore

   Keep smiling. But not to the point where people begin to think you're mentally unbalanced.

   Every once in a brownish-purple moon, I worry that I might be colorblind.

   Procrastination has it's good side. You always have something to do tomorrow.

   Morning without coffee is like sleep.

   Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

   Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in awhile,nine out of ten people would have nothing to talk about.

   The other day I threw a boomerang at a ghost. I knew it would come back to haunt me.

   Copywight 2010 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

   Spent the whole day checking items off my task list. In retrospect, I probably should have used that time to complete tasks

   We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

   Why did God create man? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

   So it's mothers day and I had trouble deciding what to get my mother-in-law I couldn't choose between a Toyota Prius or a holiday in Haiti, so eventually I plumped for luging lessons in Vancouver.

   It may look like i'm doing nothing but at the cellular level i'm actually quite busy.

   Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.