Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Maybe....just maybe if we wait a little longer, a fú¢k fell in my hand, I can give it to you.

   Man that Game of Thrones is a much better fictional novel series than the Bible ever is.

   Congratulations Michael Jordan on your new marriage.....Now she owns you.

   I-knew-you-were trouble when you logged in. So shame on me now-Inviting me to games I-would-never-playyy...Til you pissed me off-Ohh!! , Ohh!! Trouble, Trouble. I knew you were Blocked when you logged in.

   New Pick-Up Line for Guys: "Let's watch Scandal together."

   The foods that prison inmates eat are more nutritious than the food in school cafeterias......Just let that sink in for a bit.

   In Japan, the title "Jersey Shore" translates into "Macaroni Rascals"

   There have been more collect calls in history on Father's Day than on any other day of the year.

   Why is it that the very people who are against abortion, pornography, and homosexuality are the very same people you wouldn't want to have sex with in the first place?

   Newton's 3rd Law of Emotion: For every male action, there is a female overreaction

   I swear they have a prescription drug for everything. "Hey...do you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning? Then take this useless pill so you can die and the doctors & lawyers can take your family's money."....Nice evil scheme guys.

   How about that shocking Game of Thrones ending last night?

   So the government gave the order for Verizon to hand over phone records so we can help them track (cough-cough) "terrorists".........yeah ok.

   Bill Clinton has been acting funny ever since Michael Douglas made that oral sex comment.

   If you're fearful about the government spying on you while you're online, hang out on Myspace. Nobody is going to spy on you there.

   Saying that athiests can't say "OMG" because they're godless is like saying theists can't say "common sense" because they lack it.

   Congratulations Kanye for setting your daughter up to be teased with corny pickup lines all throughtout her school years. "Hey North West, wanna switch directions and go down on the "dirty south" with me?"

   Edward Snowden: Provides evidence that the government is spying on us......Government charges him for spying...

   Sean Hannity: "Do you have any regrets of specific actions you did on that February night?" George Zimmerman: "No...I feel that it was all God's plan and for me to second guess or judge it...No sir" Me: (facepalm)

   Men & Women view the world differently. Men view the world as it is, women view it by whatever they make up in their minds and expect men to figure it all out.