father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   Happy Father's Day to all ads.... Except to those who can't drive a manual. Happy Mother's Day!

   My adopted highway called the Department of Transportation to find his real father.

   I can still remember the words my father said to me on my wedding night “let’s hope this ones not a whore like the last one!”

   My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge raclst, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was bIack - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

   Her: I have a child that needs a father figure. Him: I wear socks with sandals. Her: wow, you’re daddy af.

   Instagram. The wonderful world of women with daddy issues and father figure complexes.

   Yes, I didn't get the halftime show. I also didn't attend an F-rated school, I'm not part of the 13% that commits 60% of violent crimes, and I know who to send the Father's Day card to on Father's Day.

   As a self-made millionaire and father of 16, I am begging all of you to stop believing everything you read on social media

   Dman does his father's asshole.

   Bl@cks were given Bl@ck History Month because Father's Day doesn't exist for them.

   When a person gets m*lested by their father in the shower, and in their later years, projects on someone else online to try and rid themselves of the secret guilt and yes -lust- they still feel 😂

   When the funniest, smartest comment you can make is "Canada is ghey". Because your mother was stupid and your father was stupid and you're stupid. And that's the best you can do. A for effort there, Cletus 😂