life Funny Status Messages

   Some things in life are bad they can really make you mad! Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best and always look on the bright side life!

   Always look on the bright side of life!....badump....badump....badump adump dump....Come on!... Always look at the bright side of life!.....

   Honey that posted this below dont lie to these folks, you never did have a 401k, hell you never worked a day in your life.

   Jeez I thought my dating life was bad before the Coronavirus.

   If you watched a movie of my life backwards it would be about a guy who refills beer cans and puts them back into the fridge.

   [stuck at home] son: omg so bored daughter: omg so bored wife: omg so bored me: omg so bored dog: this is the greatest day of my life

   I bought some TP at the dollar store today so yeah, life is going pretty good these days...

   For once in my life I think I found a new diet that really seems to be working for me! That called " I better not eat too much as I'm starting to run low on toilet paper"

   And suddenly people don't wonder any more if your living life to the fullest or have completely given up when you walk into the supermarket wearing pajamas.

   Let's be real, most people who signed up for Facebook didn't have a social life to begin with so staying at home should be easy.

   The only change in my life is tha I'm consuming more food than before because nothings here to stop me

   This is the first time in my life that am seeing a month without a weekend, everyday is everyday

   My daughter said she wanted a pet fish so I gave her a can of tuna. The fact she took it, painted it and made an aquarium for it, proves that quarantine life is getting to all of us.

   I like seeing people with no mask or gloves on. Just raw doggin' life

   It's hard to stay in your lane when your life is an endless multi-lane highway.

   Since it is actually impossible to know which part of my life is the middle, I've decided to have a on-going crisis.

   Everything I need to know in life I learned in First Grade... if you poop your pants they let you go home.

   My life hasn't been the same since McDonald's removed the HI-C orange drink from their stores!!

   Life hack: giant marshmallows make cheap teeth whitening strips

   I called the book store and asked for some new book I had heard about on improving one's s€x life. The clerk said, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." I go, "Yep, that's the one!"