life Funny Status Messages

   Whenever I see someone I don't know wearing what look like pajamas in public I always wonder, have they completely given up on life or are they living it to the fullest!?

   When I die I hope my life doesn't really flash before my eyes. There is some $h!t from my past I'd rather not see again.

   Had the most amazing dream of my life last night I feel as if was like a revelation that could change my life and possibly the lives of millions of people around the world for the better forever! if I could just remember what it was about?

   I can't get over how intelligent smartphones are getting as mine just filmed a 20-minute documentary about itself all on its own about its life in a pocket.

   I think some of my Facebook friends make completely irrational decisions in life that make no sense whatsoever, and we should hangout more.

   Life lesson 249: A short temper is not a sign of strength.

   I think tomorrow I'll put on a T-Shirt that says "LIFE" and then go downtown and pass out lemons.

   If any part of your life is "ultra", I don't have the energy to be friends with you...

   I wish life was like a hockey game. I'd gladly spend five minutes in the penalty box for beating the snot out of someone who pissed me off.

   At what point did Cardi B think to herself, "I'm tired of this life, I should try to be a singer," while she was dancing around the stripper pole?

   If you're just out of school and working at your first adult job you may be wondering, "Is this really all there is to life?" and the answer is no! There's also back pain

   I have spend so much money on buying different clothes...without realizing the best moments of my life are spent without them.

   If life gives you melons .. men will do pretty much anything you want them to.

   Alcohol is the lube I use to slide through life.

   Just once in my life I'd like to finish a project as easily as they make it seem in the how to YouTube videos.

   Still waiting to use “y=mx + b” in real life

   Coming out can be hard as people don't understand our way of life and can be very close minded, but I feel in this day and age I can no longer be afraid to say I love Disco!

   I'm happy to say that my life is now plastic free! except for a few Tupperware containers and my Facebook account.

   Yesssssss!!!!! A recession is coming!!!! This is the greatest day of my life!

   Life as a woman is just adding new body parts to your shaving regimen every year until you die.