g0re Funny Status Messages

   My dad never loved me as a child, you can't really blame him though I wasn't born until he was an adult.

   In the end, girls really just want one thing from guys, all of our hoodies.

   Girls: If a guy wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs, send him to KFC. You're a lady, not a cheap value meal.

   It is important to be thankful for little things in life. Like the fact that the world doesn't make a strange creaking noise when it rotates on its axis.

   A smart person realizes how stupid everyone else is and gets depressed. A very smart person realizes how stupid everyone else is and gets rich.

   Lazy rule number 42: If it isn't on the first page of Google, it doesn't exist.

   Dreams are just fanfictions of your life written by your brain.

   Some people look at a mousetrap and just see a trap for a mouse. Some of us look and see free cheese and a challenge.

   Teens: being tired is one of your personality traits.

   Gentlemen, for the next 2-3 weeks the best pick up line at any bar is, "What's Call of Duty?" You can thank me at the bachelor party.

   There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator

   Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?

   When you think about it, Hitler really wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.

   Nobody likes the guy who stands in the corner of the elevator, hoarding the buttons. Then he asks; what floor? And he smiles, like he's doing you a favor. I WANNA HIT THE BUTTON.

   When people say they "live their life" it usually just means "party hard." It doesn't mean "learn a lot about stuff that interests you", "volunteer to help people less fortunate than you", or "enjoy the benefits of a good night of sleep."

   Life's not a b!tch, life's a beautiful woman. You just call her a b!tch cause she wont let you get what you want,

   It takes a brave man to admit he's wrong. It takes a braver man to not delete the original comment.

   It sucks to live in the shadow of your older brother or sister. Imagine if Jesus Christ had a little brother or sister. How do you live up to THAT?

   It's one of life's cruel tricks that by the time you're old enough to afford a flashy sports car, you look ridiculous driving it.

   Women hate being treated different than men, until there's a hostage situation and woman and children are let go first.