Funny Status Messages
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Just when you think you've heard it all, someone comes up with a brand new damn lie. 
Waiting for someone to tell you they love you is like listening for windchimes in a hurricane.
Visa is everywhere you want to be…except out of debt.
I just love hearing somebody lying, when I know the truth..
I have a buddy that is a vegetarian not because he loves animals but because he hates plants!!!
writing about music is like dancing about architecture
Casey's fate was decided by 12 peers too stupid to get out of jury duty
Kim Kardashian on Twitter: "Casey Anthony not guilty? I am speechless!" Someone replied: "So was Nicole Brown's family when your dad got OJ off".
172 days, 1 hour and 25 minutes until christmas! But hey, whos counting
Everyone needs to just calm down, I have it on good authority that the Anthony case has been re-opened! There was a witness and he just so happens to be the presiding judge. Trial is set to begin the moment she takes her last breath.
Sitting at home, inhaling large amounts of helium, and calling random phone numbers; seeing people just wanna talk!
That awkard moment when you really wished Kayne West had intrrupted the Casey's Not Guilty Verdict.
What an amazing state .. Florida screws up elections and trials
hoping Casey Anthony gets her next period in a shark tank
You know you had Taco Bell when the toilet seat remains warm between visits...
“I can neither confirm or deny…” In my book, that's a yes.
Angry husband is not satisfied with his wife & sends an sms to his Mother in law. Your product is not matching my requirements. Smart Mother in law replys - Warranty expired, manufacturer not responsible after seal is broken.
The sad part about this whole Casey Anthony ordeal is that she will probably have her own TV show.. and write a book that half of the americans will buy... its sad.
All I know is- If you let a month go by without reporting your missing child, then you are guilty of something.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others. 