Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   If Obama was Pepsi and Romney was Coca-Cola, then I would definitely drink water or tea.

   You know how America votes off contestants on Dancing With The Stars....That would be such a great idea on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

   What people call it the presidential debate, I call it the world's most expensive puppet show.

   What people call Pharmaceutical doctors, I call legal drug dealers. Medically certified to kill you. *Ask your doctor if this status is right for you*

   Dear Taliban, When you shoot a kid in the head for wanting an education and she doesn't die, how can you be sure that God is on your side?

   My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they're like "It wasn't that hard"

   If you decide to dress up as Lance Armstrong for this Halloween, just remember to give all the candy back at the end of the night.

   If the head of the CIA (Petraeus) can't keep a secret such as cheating on his wife, then they're screwed.

   It's Thanksgiving. Don't forget to set your scale forward 45 lbs. ahead.

   That nervous moment when we're at a Fiscal Cliff and Obama's campaign slogan is "Forward"

   Reality T.V. Show Idea: Put The Kardashians, Honey Boo Boo, and the Jersey Shore cast on a island. Have them fight it out until the last one stands and call it "Who Gives A Fu¢k"

   You never heard or seen a pothead come home and beat his wife have you?

   The internet does not make people ignorant, it just makes their ignorance visible to everyone else.

   Up to this year, there's a reality T.V. show about everything except reality.

   *Achievement Unlocked* 15G - Reading This Status All The Way

   Facebook (FB) + Instagram (I) = FBI............."They" are watching you.

   Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears.

   I refuse to lower my standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

   If you're on facebook saying you're at the gym, then you're not doing anything gym related.

   You take the Kennedy assassination + That Clinton and Lewinsky thing + A pretty boss lady with small, slutty tendencies and BAM...You got a show on ABC called Scandal.