Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   I hate when people say 'I'm a vegetarian except for fish.' Right, and I'm a virgin except for all that sex I had.

   You never know what you have until you log off Facebook.

   Coffee makes the world go round; love only populates it!

   You have a face that makes me want to learn karate.

   Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. Spooning For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and an awkward erection you can't do anything about.

   If ladies were labeled heroes instead of sluts for sleeping around too much, us guys would be having a lot more sex. Someone screwed up here.

   I hope skinny jeans are going to be around for a while because I sure as hell can't get these things off.

   "I only cheated on you with girls" is the most beautiful thing a woman has ever said to me.

   Eat s hit and live! - dung beetles

   I'll pretend to find you funny if you pretend to like me.

   I only have one sexual preference and that's as often as possible please.

   Denial (n.) Balding men with ponytails.

   I have a confession to make, but I don't think any of you here are priests.

   I only get in the van if they offer me drugs and alcohol because screw candy I'm a grown ass man and you can't fool me.

   It's no coincidence that you have never seen a hunger strike for the legalization of marijuana.

   The only thing that's clear to me right now is Vodka.

   You know you are on a hamster wheel when you go to work to make enough money to pay for your car so you can get to work.

   I just saw an honest political leader, riding a unicorn.

   I may not be right but I'm a beautiful piece of wrong.

   So Chris Brown smoked a little pot. If blunts are the only thing he's hitting, that sounds like progress to me.