Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Shopping for a minivan at a car show while you're married is like going to a strip club and looking at the DJ.

   Ladies, we men don't ask for much. We're very simple beings. All we want is food, sex, money, and silence. Feed Me, Fu¢k Me, Pay Me, & STFU. That's all!

   "So.....you went to college to get a job and you have a job to pay for college." .....What a great economic system the Rothschilds & Rockefellers created!

   What!? High schools with daycare centers!!....Now see what you did MTV by having that 16 & Pregnant mess! I hope you're happy.

   When a married couple stops having sex, at first they complain about it...but after awhile y'all get used to it. She walks out of the shower and you don't even look...because you know there is nothing there for you.

   Do girls imagine themselves sucking in a invisible spaghetti when they're about to take a picture?

   Women....why does your purse need a seat of it's own?

   You think Zelda would be a lot more "appreciative" of Link for saving her. The boy went through like 7 dungeons & caves, at least give him the sex he deserves.

   MAN: "Hi. I'm Bond.....James Bond. What's your name?" WOMAN: "Off.....Fu¢k Off."

   Great...now everybody is a damn food photographer. Hope this fad dies out quicker than Planking.

   If any woman says "I love you" to me for the first time, then I have the right to say "Do you have evidence to support that statement?"

   I'll start respecting religion when it starts respecting every human being equally regardless of race, gender, & sexuality.

   Curiousity killed virginity.

   If winning was easy, losers would do it.

   What's so cool about taking a picture of a bathroom mirror?

   In the absence of peace & love, we teach war & hate as an escape from the problems we are too lazy to solve.

   You know what's cheaper than reading a book on a Kindle?......Reading a book.

   They took cigarette ads of TV because it was bad for our nation's health. Sooo....why can't they do the same for political ads?

   A man will simply break a woman's heart, but a woman will take a dump in a man's heart and walk away.

   Learning is way more than a test score...