life Funny Status Messages

   not easily offended and easily offends. Life is so unfair...

   My biggest regret in life is eating whatever that was I found under my keyboard about 10 minutes ago.

   Sometimes all it takes is a simple change in attitude to turn your life around. =]

   You just read this sentence while I ramble on wasting your short life for no reason at all.

   We should handle everything in life like a Dog would... if you can't eat it or play with it then just pee on it and walk away.

   Even if your life was a total waste of space, there's always hope that you'll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.

   Sometimes it seems I spend half my life just breathing in.

   thinks life ws much easier when Apples & Blackberies were just fruits.

   life is now back on track... unfortunately for me that track is downhill... and there's me with no steering or brakes...

   beat the heck out of the alarm clock this morning. It's currently on life support, but if it tries that $hit again tomorrow, I'm pulling the plug!!!

   A man asks a HOT woman "will you go on a date with me" She says "your not my type" Man Quickly replies "You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"

   Some people have an inflated view of their importance in my life.

   the trouble with life is there is no background music

   when you really think about it….life and nature are pretty simple….it's all about finding food, building shelter, and getting some

   NOTE TO SELF: Don't forget to NOT to discuss your personal life on FB. And pick up rash cream..........

   Saw the mystery machine from Scooby Doo driving on the highway. Is this real life?

   life is like a box of coco. Not a box of chocolate, a box of coco. Why? Everything comes in stupid make-it- yourself kits! >:(

   I can't believe there are so many privacy risks involved in broadcasting my entire life on Facebook

   Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life!!!!

   wish life was a bed of roses!!! I would do nothing but sleep all day!!!