friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Will somebody let me borrow their Delorean to travel to friday already!

   I asked my gf to record the game on ESPN, which she did, but not ESPN-HD. And then she says, 'Well, at least you still get to watch it.' Oh yeah, I pay extra money so I can watch TV like poor people. I don't even feel bad for cheating on you this weekend.

   The 4th of July weekend is upon us, let's celebrate by getting drunk and blowing sh!t up. Oh wait that's what we do ever weekend.

   A beer bottle may not be shaped like a Boomerang but it still comes back to me every weekend :-D ;-) :-)

   the next person that tells me they have a 3 day weekend is getting a firework shoved up their poop shoot!

   If you're drinking and driving this weekend don't forget to not text much

   Why even ask how my weekend was if youre just going to interrupt me halfway through to say Yeah, I saw your Facebook post.

   Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos.

   The Royal Couple will be in the U.S. on Friday. Isn't that ironic? We spent Monday celebrating the day we threw the British out, and on Friday we're letting them back in.

   Hmmm....not quite sure who I'm doing this weekend yet.

   always gives 100% at work...25% Monday, 15% Tuesday, 5% Wednesday, 3% Thursday, 2% Friday and 50% sleeping throughout

   Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

   Amy Winehouse started writing songs for a new album this weekend - she only got through a few lines.

   I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"

   Ok great name for a band .".Half Price Drinks" how can you not pack them in on a Friday night with that name on the sign out front

   I feel like I'm livin out the movie friday in this damn recession.... Got cereal, no milk.. Got ham, no bread... Got koolaid, no sugar FML

   my buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"

   It's the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!

   I hate Costco and its costconians on the weekend. Is it really that difficult to move aside while trying to devour your 27th sample? It is not like you're trying to balance fine China on a stick, you're putting a cheese square into yo

   I can always tell how good my weekend was by how many pictures I have to untag on Monday.