Funny Status Messages

   Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance.

   Let's see, which emotional issues shall I bury under deep layers of sarcasm today?

   I bumped into a guy as I was hurrying off the elevator and I go "Why am I so eager to get to work?" and we laughed and I stole his wallet.

   The slogan for every brand of tequila should be "Tequila... because we understand that sometimes you just need to get f*cked up."

   "Glory Days" by Bruce Springsteen is playing on the radio.....brings back memories of my kick ball days in elementary school, I was a beast.....I coulda been a contender!.

   If you can read thank a teacher. If you can read in English, thank a Marine.

   Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

   You know right about now cyphing gas outta folks cars really dont sound that crazy too me

   I know Karate!.........and, like 2 other Japanese words.

   i just found out that the earthquake in japan was an inside job by the illuminati. search it on youtube "Alex Jones Says Japan Earthquake Possibly an Inside Job"

   I think Tampax should change their slogan to "From out box, to yours".

   I think Tampax should change their slogan to "From our box, to yours".

   I believe there's a direct correlation as to why women who have a mustache always wear a sarong over their swimwear.

   Some people tell me they think I may have Tourettes. I've got know idea BALLSACK what they're talking about.

   False hope is the only thing that gets me through the day

   Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

   ......and remember kids........never trust an air traffic controller

   That was delicious corn on the cob. If you could have seen me enjoying it you would have thought I was a corn star.

   Cold weather reminds me that I have nipples.

   April 19th 2011 at 8:11pm Skynet went active.