lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I love Facebook. It's the only place I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot.
←Rate | 02-06-2010 03:21 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...is a Vagitarian. :-)
←Rate | 02-06-2010 04:10 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon How is getting a bj from a 75-year lady like bungee jumping? Whatever you do,don't look down!
←Rate | 02-06-2010 11:46 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..to me, a Super Bowl is one that's full of snacks that I don't have to share.
←Rate | 02-06-2010 17:38 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook isn't better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble
←Rate | 02-07-2010 02:54 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was little, we used to play a game called "knock and run" where you knock on someone's door and run away before they answered. Nowadays, it's known as "Parcelforce"
←Rate | 02-07-2010 04:17 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon John Terry explained he didn't mean to have sex with Vanessa Perroncel - he just slipped while he was showing her how to take a penalty.
←Rate | 02-07-2010 10:35 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..lost £50 on the Super Bowl. That's the last time I bet on a horse.
←Rate | 02-08-2010 07:30 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..oh dear. Some special ed class somewhere is missing a student..
←Rate | 02-08-2010 09:10 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide until it goes away.
←Rate | 02-08-2010 14:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon February. It's not a leap year, but feel free to take a flying one anyway.
←Rate | 02-08-2010 14:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Farmville? Meh..just wake me up when they launch "Margaritaville"..
←Rate | 02-09-2010 02:49 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I didn't use the bus,i would never have a man opening a door for me.
←Rate | 02-09-2010 20:41 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I taught my dog to beg today. He came back with £12.75.
←Rate | 02-10-2010 03:41 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love may not make the world spin around but it certainly makes alot of people dizzy.
←Rate | 02-10-2010 07:22 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I played a country music song backwards. I got my truck back,my house back,my dog back..
←Rate | 02-10-2010 20:15 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When she asked me "What kind of idiot are you?" it took me awhile to realize it wasn't a Facebook quiz.
←Rate | 02-10-2010 20:24 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon All you need is love. And Valentines Day is the perfect time to buy lots of things to prove it.
←Rate | 02-11-2010 07:46 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a doctor, but I play one in the emergency room until security shows
←Rate | 02-11-2010 19:09 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to modern medicine, people can be sexually active long past the age when anyone wants to see them naked.
←Rate | 02-11-2010 19:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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