Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Girls FB Account: 47 Friend Requests, 17 Messages, 31 Notifications..........Boys FB Account: 1 Notification.

   Having a rough day? Place your hand over your heart.....Feel that?..That's called Purpose. You're alive for a reason. Make it count.

   Say NO to the Bathroom Duckface & Quacker Lips photo epidemic.

   In America, dating for men is a chore, for women it's a choice.

   When the government fears the people, it's called Liberty. When the people fear the government, it's called Tyranny.

   Dear Leviticus 19:27,..........Nobody cares.

   I checked the thermometer outside. The temperature read "Fuck this shit! Stay in the house!"

   My house would be a lot more vacant if I could communicate in Roach & Spider language.

   We're independent but we DEPEND on other countries' resources and goods...Like China and England..Can you Contradiction.

   I'm guessing sex when you're 80 and up is like playing pool with a rope.

   Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Years = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthdays = ALL OF THE ABOVE

   TSA = Touchy Squeezy Abusers

   Got bit by a spider.......Now I got to go find a skyscraper to climb.

   It really sucks seeing a profile pic of two girls and the hot one is always someone else.

   If you are living your life without giving a 'F', you are only living a LI[ ]E.

   JUSTIN BIEBER: "I'm famous because I have thousands of fans and I am only 18." GOKU: "B!tch I have billions of fans and I don't even exist."

   A teenager's brain is 80% song lyrics.

   You are born to move mountains but you're still stuck on rocks.

   They show sex on TV, but radio has 'Bleeps'.......Way to go FCC.

   Aww I'm sorry you're mad the world doesn't revolve around you. Here...let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It.