BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Tip on getting a raise at work: Every day eat a cup-a-noodle soup for lunch and make sure to mention how you need to save half, because you know you will be hungry tomorrow.

   Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all equally valid, but one thing breaks the tie in favor of Christianity: grilled cheese with bacon.

   When a girl says "lol have fun." do NOT have fun. Abort mission. Repeat Abort Mission.

   "I Love You just the Way You Are" is the best compliment ever.

   I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?

   Girls cant find their wallets, shoes or car keys but they sure as hell can remember something you said 8 months ago

   When my phone dies and I don’t have a charger, I might as well be Amish.

   Most stress is caused by three things: family, money, and family with no money.

   The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single last one of them.

   Don’t be stupid, if their ex is still calling its because they’re still getting an answer.

   Dear Girls : No Need To Do Anything For Halloween … Just Remove The Makeup And Go To The Party

   X says Falling in love is like jumping off a very tall building. Your brain tells you - it's not damn a good idea, while your heart tells you - you can fly.

   Costco: The most expensive place in the world to save money.

   Relationships are like batteries, they have a positive & a negative side. And you end up whacking your remote instead of changing them.

   It’s funny that old people need handicap parking spots but they always manage to pick up a penny off the ground.

   The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.

   I really hope 2015 is a better year.

   It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.

   Women- God’s version of Rubik cube.

   At the end of Goonies, Chunk says to Sloth, “you’re gonna live with me now.” Why isn’t that a movie yet?