BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Studies show that 36% of people rushed to the hospital die on their way. Such a coincidence seeing that 36% of ambulance drivers are women.

   I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..

   I don't understand how girls could be so in love with a guy one week and the next not even talk to him for no apparent reason

   Why are scary movies always in creepy places like jails and hospitals? I want a scary movie in Walmart. CLEAN UP ON AISLE 13. BUT SIR... THERE IS NO AISLE 13. Dramatic music..

   I’m going to Hell. Anybody want anything?

   Why isn’t the movie ‘What Women Want’ just 90 minutes of Ryan Gosling doing an ab workout on a pile of Nutella and money?

   “cannot connect to network. try resetting your wireless router” umm ok but what if my router is in my neighbor’s house? Should I call him?

   When Rihanna first started singing she was like yee mista dj song pon de replay, now she's like f*ck me with a shovel and slap my ti%ties

   Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, Dead

   Wishing the amazing Olympic athletes from around the world the best of luck in Sochi (finding drinking water and toilets).

   I can party much longer than my cell phone battery.

   I think Oprah should marry Deepak Choprah and take his last name.

   f people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?

   Fri(end) Girlfri(end) Boyfri(end) Br(forever)o

   Since Kanye wants to write a song named 'I Am God' I wanna see him bring his dead mother back to life again.

   Parents have no idea what it's like to be a teenager in our generation…

   We can't help but to start liking the girls that become our good friends. Too hard to find girls that just like to have fun these days.

   Yesterday I went to see a shrink about my Facebook addiction, everything was going smoothly and I was on the road to recovery until he asked me, What's on your mind? Damn it

   This hahaha guy just ignore him and dont rate his post he will be b gone. Trust me

   Yo Bi%ch, you hate your parents so much that you have to post it on Facebook. Orphans cry hearts out to have such loving and caring parents. Love your Parents.