bego Funny Status Messages

   What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common? They both want to be real boys.

   The real reason women live longer than men is because they don't have to live with women.

   Why are girls with boyfriends always way more flirty than girls who are single?

   I want a girl I'm proud enough of to show off to my family and friends

   I was kicked out of the Nintendo thoughts group for my idea about a Wii game for disabled people. Apparently Wii-Tards isn't a great name.

   When I end a sentence with "Just Sayin" what I really mean to say is "Fu%k off, I'm right." ...just sayin.

   Pawn Stars Man: Hey can I have change for a dollar? Rick: The best I can do is 25 cents.

   The best friendships are built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, and inappropriateness.

   We naturally want a girl in our lives. Girls only like ass-holes. Guys become ass-holes to adjust. It's natural. Don't blame us.

   Explaining to a woman why she's wrong is the most difficult thing in the world.

   God made men. But sandwiches weren't going to make themselves. So God made women.

   What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day? SINGLE

   Marriage is hard. Marriage is so hard Nelson Mandela got divorce. He spend 27 years in prison getting tortured and beaten everyday of his life for 27 years. He got out of jail, spent 6 months with his wife, and said. I CANT TAKE THIS SHI%

   Kids today.. I swear they just cant figure shi& out on their own. Its like they need a you tube video to show them how to wipe their As%

   I think money attracts the females you want, struggle attracts the woman you need..

   Drugs don't ruin your career. Drug tests do.

   Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take f*cking notes.

   When girls get mad, they cry to their friends. We go cuss people out on Xbox.

   If your ex texts you, its probably because they tried to replace you, but failed.

   Do you ever wake up and just say "nope" and then roll over and go back to sleep