Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   your best kept secret and your biggest mistake.

   fortified with 8 vitamins and minerals

   Trying To Conquer The World

   the reason Santa even has a naughty list!!!!!

   "What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? "

   holding the world for ransom

   on my space trying to Google your you tube

   found Waldo

   "just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. "

   very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes !!!

   "not a complete idiot, some parts are missing "

   pondering why in the hell people type so much in their status box

   so jobless that he's replying every spam message

   like that and that's the way it is

   a case of the Mondays when all he wants is a case of beer.

   made a poor spending decision and would now like Congress to bail him out for the sake of his shareholders.

   panicking at the disco

   kissed a girl and she liked it.

   takes your breath away.

   making a career of this.