love Funny Status Messages

   I love living in a small town where everyone is so friendly, unless you are from a differnt town or have a differing opinion.

   I love living in a small town where everyone is so friendly, unless you are from a differnt town or have a differing opinion

   not every flower can say love, but a rose does. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus does. Not every retard can read... but look at you go!/€

   If I love you only for your looks rather than for your soul, then you better be worried because I will dump your ass like yesterday’s mashed potatoes the next chance I get to hook up with someone cuter than you.

   Love is blind. It's also drunk, has a wooden leg, Tourette's, a crippling fear of heights & if you poke it with a stick it plays dead.

   Just did a Google search for Gary Oldman.... for the love of God, don't forget the 'R".

   Violently cry singing Queen's Somebody To Love is my cardio.

   A blow job is just like a regular job excpet men love coming to it.

   Tomorrow's assignment: end every conversation with "Thank you for teaching me how to love again."

   Love: When you still like someone after marriage.

   I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now i'm going to a different cafe.

   How many more short, funny sentences must I post on the internet before I am worthy of human love?

   What are people asking Meatloaf to do 'for love'?

   My wife and I got a book on how to spice up our love life. One suggestion was to make love in a car wash. It was great but it really pissed off those people doing their church fund raiser.

   "Welcome to Costco, I love you."

   fell in love on an elevator once and it ended in soul crushing heart break, so, no thanks Aerosmith. No frickin thanks.

   People that have 7 kids, let's be honest.....do you actually LOVE all those kids?

   Fall in love? Is that when you like the same pizza toppings as someone else?

   Nothing describes my love life more than watching a declawed cat trying to scratch the sofa

   Fantasy Football starts now. I'm sorry honey. I will talk to you after football season. Love you Jamie wallis