bego Funny Status Messages

   Girls: Save your games for family fun nights…..NOT Relationships!!

   Bibles arent allowed in schools anymore but are encouraged in prisons. If kids were allowed to read it at school, they may not end up in pison.

   Forgotten money found in jean pockets = the best.

   I don’t care what people think of me… At least mosquitoes find me attractive.

   Ever want to click on someone’s Facebook status and fix all the spelling and grammatical errors for them?

   Hey homeless guy, quick tip: don’t panhandle outside the 99 Cent Store, we’re not that far from you.

   Whenever I hand someone my camera to take a picture, they act like I’m asking them to pilot an alien spaceship. JUST PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON!

   Never sure if a girl is hot or just that her massive sunglasses are blocking her face.

   I'd rather watch highlights from a WNBA game than listen to ESPN talk about Johnny Manziel and A-Rod again.

   Never trust someone that smiles on Monday morning.

   Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

   So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

   Love is like a Hot Pocket: If you rush into it, you’re bound to get burned.

   The best way to a woman's heart is by saying three words ''- You lost weight...!!!!

   Hey Guys, never chase women. Chase your dreams and women will follow.

   f your ex texts you, its probably because they tried to replace you, but failed.

   To "scratch" your balls is a false saying. It's more of a "pinch and roll"

   If you wear Hollister past seventh grade I'm just gonna assume you enjoy the taste of another man's schlong.

   Ladies If it takes you more than a hour to get ready, then you aren't as cute as you think you are

   Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.