BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Relationships should come with an icon that shows you how much time you have left like your phone’s battery.

   My ex has a new boyfriend and I’m glad. I mean I want her to be happy. As long as I’m happier and she knows that.

   Obama: I like Coke. Fox News: Obama has declared war on Pepsi.

   Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me: If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?

   Life is weird. You can go from being strangers. To being friends. To being more than friends. To being pratically strangers again.

   I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!

   People dont even say grace before meals anymore . They just hold their phone over the plate, snap a picture, & then upload it to instagram .

   My dad carries pictures of me and my brother where his money used to be.

   I am not sure if I need to get beat up, broke as hell and drive a P.O.S car to get a hot girlfriend. Because that's all I see, ugly is the new hot!

   he original Nintendo is proof that better graphics doesn’t mean a better game.

   That moment when you realize you can’t ignore someones message on Facebook anymore because it shows that you’ve read it.

   It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.

   I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together.

   If your girlfriend doesn’t like that bi&ch, you don’t talk to that bi&ch.

   Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government

   If you want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with..I shouldn't be telling you this..

   Taking back your EX is like buying your shi$ back from your own garage sale..

   Make sure you love each other for your pleasant personalities coz when the looks are gone its what you will have to live with for the rest of your lives.

   My girlfriend found lipstick in my pocket, I told her straight up I was cheating, there was no way I was going to confess I sell AVON..

   Age is no guarantee of maturity.