BEGO Funny Status Messages

   i don’t understand why people need to do drugs or party in order to have fun, have you tried mac n cheese

   Every time you speak, I feel my brain cells committing suicide one by one.

   Attractive person: Hey whats up? Me: Who paid you

   A lie everyone tells = “Hey! I just got your text!”

   Your baby was cute until I realized you’re on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid.

   I don’t know who invented Nutella, but I’m going to assume they went to Hogwart’s.

   Time to buy a new car, a bigger TV, a better cell phone and a faster laptop so I’ll finally be happy! (Repeat over and over until you die)

   If you’re in a relationship for sex it’s like buying an airplane for the peanuts.

   Love doesn’t walk away, people do.

   I wonder if dog’s had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture.

   "Please don't put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby

   I hate texting people first. I feel awkward, annoying and unwanted

   I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.

   Setting up a Facebook account for your unborn child should be considered child abuse.

   Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?

   While you're ignoring that someone special, someone else is grabbing their attention.

   Did you know you that you don’t have to put every meal you eat on Instagram? You can just eat it.

   Dear those people who use their cellphones as a personal stereo in public, stop it. Sincerely, Everybody

   I guess it's "No Pull Out" season. Almost every chick on Facebook is pregnant.

   Break-ups aren't always meant for make-ups, sometimes they're meant for wake-ups.